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Every published report, dispatched with confidence and only occasional supporting evidence.
Latest intelligence
Li Wei reports on the strange economics and spectacle of so-called nail houses surrounded by major development.
Read full story Florida Frank investigates the eternal conflict between human judgment and a navigation voice that sounds extremely confident.
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J-BO reviews a fictional proposal to expand the Olympics with barbecue, precision mowing and high-speed shopping cart competition.
Read full story J-BO analyzes a fictional scientific study showing that referee accuracy changes dramatically depending on the scoreboard and the viewer’s favorite team.
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An international neutrality contest becomes increasingly competitive while Switzerland declines to participate in any meaningful way.
Read full story Li Wei reports on a fictional diplomatic effort to simplify world geography into categories everyone can pretend to understand.
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The Trust-Me-Bro Patriotism Lab tests pickup trucks using the Freedom-to-Wheelbase Ratio and one dangerously small parking space.
Read full story Captain Freedom launches the Patriotic Enough? series by rating backyard grills on the official 1,776-point Freedom Scale.
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Dr. Cynthia Source examines a fictional federal program designed to eliminate paperwork by creating a new paperwork system.
Read full story A satirical Washington report on Congress discovering the one issue capable of uniting everyone — continued disagreement.
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Trust-Me-Bro reviews a fictional shortlist of things that could receive a giant wall, from golf courses to Florida and possibly the entire country.
Read full story Captain Freedom investigates the satirical crisis created when a world map contains hundreds of countries, seas and mountains with insufficiently presidential branding.
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