“If it sounds impossible, give me five minutes and a Florida ZIP code.”
Full biography
Florida Frank is the Florida Bureau Chief for Trust-Me-Bro.us, reporting from America’s most reliable source of unbelievable news: the Sunshine State.
Nobody is entirely sure how Frank became a journalist. According to Frank, it involved “three hurricanes, a stolen golf cart, and a misunderstanding at a press conference.” According to everyone else, he simply showed up one morning with a microphone and refused to leave.
Based somewhere in Florida — the exact location changes depending on who is asking — Frank specializes in the stories other reporters overlook, misunderstand, or wisely avoid. His beat includes bizarre local crime, neighborhood feuds, questionable wildlife encounters, strange government decisions, mysterious objects discovered in swimming pools, and virtually any incident beginning with the words “A Florida man…”
Frank approaches every assignment with enthusiasm, confidence, and remarkably little concern for his own safety. Whether interviewing an eyewitness outside a convenience store at 3 a.m., investigating an alligator occupying someone’s backyard, or attempting to explain why a man drove a lawn mower onto an interstate, Frank believes there are always at least two sides to every story — and preferably one of them is completely ridiculous.
His reporting philosophy is simple: if a story sounds too strange to be true, it probably happened in Florida.
Despite his chaotic appearance and occasionally questionable investigative methods, Frank takes enormous pride in his position as Florida Bureau Chief. He considers himself the voice of ordinary Floridians, extraordinary Floridians, and Floridians currently being asked to explain themselves to law enforcement.
Frank rarely travels without his microphone, aviator sunglasses, Hawaiian shirt, and an unreasonable amount of confidence around reptiles. He insists that he has developed a “professional understanding” with Florida’s alligator population. Wildlife experts have repeatedly declined to confirm this.
At Trust-Me-Bro.us, Frank is responsible for covering Florida’s strangest local stories and delivering them with the seriousness normally reserved for international crises. To Frank, a runaway kangaroo blocking traffic deserves the same journalistic commitment as a presidential press conference — possibly more.
When he isn’t reporting, Frank can allegedly be found fishing, arguing with weather forecasts, drinking something cold near a body of water, or explaining to tourists that “this is actually pretty normal for Florida.”
