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The imaginary rebranding office decides names are not enough and begins reviewing latitude, longitude and the equator for insufficient patriotic branding.
Read full storyAfter hours of searching, Captain Freedom triumphantly plants a flag on what turns out to be a municipal boat ramp and refuses to admit the reconnaissance phase had shortcomings.
Read full storyResidents enthusiastically report every patch of land visible from a boat, overwhelming operators with islands that have remained suspiciously stationary for several thousand years.
Read full storyUncle Bro hires fictional copyright counsel to determine whether reality owes licensing fees for drifting islands, giant beer thefts, aggressive wildlife and improbable political branding.
Read full storyGuests receive check-in instructions containing three possible coves, a pair of binoculars and the sentence 'if you see the island moving, do not chase your reservation.'.
Read full storyJ-BO creates Competitive Island Drifting, with medals awarded for distance, vegetation retention and finishing closest to a marina without actually entering it.
Read full storyRussia enters the imaginary floating-island competition with a suspiciously rectangular object possessing radar, a flight deck and several features rarely found on natural wetlands.
Read full storyState television unveils no photographs, no coordinates and no witnesses but insists the classified island is larger, faster and more ideologically stable than Canada's.
Read full storySausageGoat interviews a bewildered bird, two insects and an uncooperative squirrel about what may be Canada's strangest involuntary relocation program.
Read full storyBritish authorities politely explain that international island tracking can begin immediately after the nation's more urgent beverage-related matter is resolved.
Read full storyInspectors identify unsecured trees, missing reflectors, no chassis number and an alarming lack of documentation proving the island is approved for continuous aquatic operation.
Read full storyThe newsroom replaces kilometres with football fields, hectares with Walmart parking lots and abstract patriotism with standardized Freedom Points certified by a bald eagle-shaped stamp.
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