Florida Retirement Community Replaces Neighborhood Watch With One Goose

A fictional retirement community has outsourced security to a goose already patrolling the footpath without compensation. Residents cite its excellent response time and complete unwillingness to negotiate with unfamiliar shoes.

Florida Frank observed the first shift. Package couriers, maintenance staff and the association president all stopped at the entrance. Burglaries remained hypothetical; access to the clubhouse became a genuine problem.

The goose has no training certificate, but neither did several previous committee members. Residents are now discussing a pedestrian corridor protected by umbrellas. The bird appears interested in expanding its jurisdiction to the swimming pool. Its budget request consists of grass, water and universal recognition that the path belongs to it.