Campaign Introduces Candidate Flag Large Enough to Have Its Own Swing States
The platform contains no tax plan, but its western stripe is polling strongly with suburban voters.
WASHINGTON — A campaign unveiled an American flag covering enough ground to require weather forecasts, zoning permission and three regional coordinators. The candidate stood near one corner and delivered a speech nobody at the opposite end could hear.
Captain Freedom called the display majestic before asking where the policy proposals were stored. Staff pointed toward a distant fold believed to contain the healthcare section. It had not been reached before sunset.
One Nation, Several Acres of Fabric
Pollsters divided the flag into battleground stripes. The upper-left corner leaned traditional, the center remained undecided and a rebellious section near the parking lot demanded independent statehood.
The Federal Election Commission has not determined whether the object counts as advertising, infrastructure or a temporary nation. Captain Freedom supports flags but recommends keeping them small enough to fold before the next election.