★ FEATURED · Lost & Found · EDITORIAL AD
TOP SECRET Documents – Found in Bathroom
$45,000,000 or a presidential pardon
Mar-a-Lago, Florida
FOUND: Several boxes of extremely important government documents.
Previous owner claims they were automatically declassified through the incredible power of positive thinking.
FEATURES:
- Beautiful TOP SECRET stamps
- Authentic-looking government paperwork
- Some mysterious blacked-out paragraphs
- Slight water damage from bathroom storage
- Perfect for decorating your presidential library
CONDITION: Used, but still classified. Allegedly.
BONUS: Includes a complimentary roll of presidential toilet paper.
NO REFUNDS. NO FBI AGENTS. NO QUESTIONS.
Trust me, bro. They're totally declassified.
DISCLAIMER: This is satire. No actual documents are being sold.
More in Lost & Found →Previous owner claims they were automatically declassified through the incredible power of positive thinking.
FEATURES:
- Beautiful TOP SECRET stamps
- Authentic-looking government paperwork
- Some mysterious blacked-out paragraphs
- Slight water damage from bathroom storage
- Perfect for decorating your presidential library
CONDITION: Used, but still classified. Allegedly.
BONUS: Includes a complimentary roll of presidential toilet paper.
NO REFUNDS. NO FBI AGENTS. NO QUESTIONS.
Trust me, bro. They're totally declassified.
DISCLAIMER: This is satire. No actual documents are being sold.