Florida Man Attempts to Tow Hurricane Back Into the Atlantic
Authorities confirmed that the pickup truck was powerful, but not meteorologically rated.
FLORIDA — Emergency officials have discouraged residents from attempting to tow tropical weather systems after a local man attached several thousand feet of hardware-store rope to his pickup truck and announced plans to drag an approaching hurricane back into the Atlantic.
The man, identified by neighbors only as Randy, said computer forecast models were unnecessarily complicated. His own research consisted of watching the Weather Channel with the sound off and confirming that his truck had four-wheel drive.
A Category Five Towing Package
Randy’s system uses marine rope, two boat anchors, a reinforced trailer hitch and what he described as “the good duct tape.” He planned to secure the hurricane near the outer rain bands, shift the transmission into low gear and keep driving west until local television meteorologists apologized.
A county spokesperson explained that hurricanes do not possess approved towing points. Randy responded that this was typical government negativity and produced a handwritten permit signed by his cousin.
This truck pulled a pontoon boat out of a ditch in 2019. Weather is mostly water. Do the math.
— Randy, self-certified hurricane towing specialist
Officials Recommend the Less Heroic Option
Emergency managers urged residents to follow official forecasts, prepare supplies and obey evacuation orders when issued. They specifically advised against confronting high winds from a folding chair, firing warning shots at clouds or attempting to negotiate with storm systems through a megaphone.
Florida Frank arrived to document the operation but moved the Trust-Me-Bro news vehicle after noticing that Randy had tied one end of the rope to its rear axle. An alligator observing from a drainage pond declined comment and appeared to demonstrate better judgment than everyone present.
The experiment ended early when a light afternoon shower caused the rope to slip free and wrap around a decorative mailbox. Randy called the test an important success, saying the hurricane had not reached his driveway during the operation. Meteorologists confirmed that it was still hundreds of miles away.