Cat With 29 Toes Hired to Recount Election After Demonstrating Superior Number Capacity
Officials say the cat brings transparency, independence and eleven more counting tools than the average consultant.
WISCONSIN — A cat reported to have an extraordinary number of toes attracted global attention and an immediate offer from election administrators exhausted by arguments over counting. The cat accepted the position by sitting on the contract.
SausageGoat praised the appointment as a victory for animal-based intelligence. He noted that cats are politically independent, impossible to pressure and already experienced at knocking disputed items off tables.
Democracy Gets Additional Digits
Critics questioned whether twenty-nine toes improve mathematics. Supporters replied that this was still twenty-nine more visible qualifications than several human candidates had provided.
The recount ended when the cat slept on the ballots for six hours. Both parties declared the nap evidence supporting their position.