PROJECT BEAVER PRIME
TOP SECRET – DECLASSIFIED AFTER ACCIDENT
For decades, the world believed beavers were simply nature’s engineers.
Recently declassified files tell a very different story.
According to the documents, Canada’s government has allegedly been controlled by an elite council of highly intelligent beavers operating from undisclosed dams deep within the wilderness.
Officials reportedly refer to them as “The Board.”
Every major infrastructure project—including highways, bridges, hydroelectric dams, and suspiciously straight rivers—must first receive approval from the Supreme Beaver Council.
Former officials claim the phrase “Busy as a beaver” was never meant as a compliment—it was a classified warning.
The files further allege that whenever a beaver slaps its tail on the water, government agencies immediately switch to Emergency Maple Protocol.
No evidence has been found.
Mostly because the beavers are allegedly very good at destroying it.
Trust us, Bro.